GAPS Re-Intro: Day 1

I was going to start over once again with GAPS Intro today. Unfortunately my day started crappy like so many days. I woke up with a headache and backache, tired, tachycardia (up to 137), fluid retention, and I had abdominal distention from the start before eating or drinking anything. Drinking coffee made it worse - this could be "PMS" or rather hormonal. It's too hard to tell these days but I hate it.

In my last email to Dr. Cowan I asked him to address the abdominal distention. His reply was that it's probably just "bad gut ecology but we can try a course of Nystatin". So this is about the 4th or 5th person who is indicating that I have fungal overgrowth. Maybe God is trying to tell me something!!!

I told Dr. C that Nystatin gives me the same symptoms as I get from probees and ferments - headache, backache, fatigue, anger, constipation, etc. I assumed those were die off but during our last phone consult he indicated that I probably just don't tolerate those strains of bacteria. That doesn't really make sense to me especially since I am getting the same symptoms from coconut oil, palm oil, GSE, oil of oregano, Nystatin, and other anti-fungals and anti-bacterials. I still think it's wicked die off what I didn't understand is why it just won't stop, then I started reading Dr. Myhill's free E-book on CFS. According to her research CFS is caused by mitochondrial failure. Mitochondria supply energy to all the cells in our body and if mitochondria fail all organs are affected and everything slows down. It can even lead to POTS which is something I have been dealing with as well. Reading her book was like reading about myself. I finally had an explanation for all the weird symptoms I seem to be having, including the fact that I am SO toxic despite a clean diet and clean lifestyle. Since all organs are affected in mitochondrial failure that means your skin is affected. In the book it states if micro-circulation to the skin is shut down, the body cannot detox. It also explains heat intolerance, something else I have been dealing with, because the skin is responsible for controlling the temperature of the body. When the blood supply to the skin is shut off, the body cannot loose heat through the skin and the core body temperature rises.

Dr. Myhill recommends a Stone Age Diet, 9 hours of sleep every night, plenty of rest and pacing oneself, and a supplement regimen for people with CFS/mitochondrial failure. Some of the supplements I already take, some I can't get here (she is in the UK), and some key supplements (d-ribose, l-carnatine, CoQ10, and niacin) I ordered and they should get here Friday. I am hopeful yet I am afraid to be hopeful.

Back to GAPS Intro - so I was going to start over today but I am wondering what the point is. I mean, I am still on Stage 2 minus egg whites/gee/butter. Of course as usual, the perfectionist in me wants to do it right, go through the stages, add one thing at a time, etc. I am not sure what to do and I am also torn about adding ferments back in - maybe one drop at a time - and now also adding Nystatin. Dr. C said to start with a pinch and work my way up. I was thinking about using the baby scoop from my Custom Probiotics. That's about 1/16 of a teaspoon or less which is a small dose.

I am trying to find joy, be happy, and enjoy life but it's not easy right now. I feel overwhelmed with all these symptoms and the fact that it seems impossible to find a good doctor - one that will truly listen, take his/her time, not just blow me off because I take Cytomel for hypothyroidism, or look at me like I am insane when I mention some of my symptoms. 

Spicy Dry Rub

I made this rub yesterday for a pork shoulder roast and a beef shoulder roast that we put in the smoker. Both roasts weighed around 4 1/2 pounds yet I had some of the rub leftover so it makes quite a bit. I had not intended for it to be spicy but it had a little bit of a kick to it.

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons paprika
• 3 tablespoons chili powder
• 2 tablespoons cumin
• 2 tablespoons celtic sea salt
• 1 tablespoons oregano
• 1/2 tablespoons black pepper
• 1 tablespoons  onion Powder
• 1/2 tablespoons  basil
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
• 1 tablespoons turmeric
• 1/2 teaspoon ginger

Mix all spices, rub on meat, prepare as desired.

Beef Liver Pate with Beef Heart (Dairy Free)

I love liverwurst but most store bought brands have ingredients I cannot yet tolerate. So I decided to make my own, or something like Pate, and use up some of the beef liver and heart Tracy Monday from Laurel Creek Meats in Knoxville gave me free. This is my second try - it's good IMO but I will probably experiment some more. I am using pork fat in this one since I can't have butter yet and it has a softer consistency than tallow. For people who do not like salt this recipe may be a bit salty.

Beef Liver Pate with Beef Heart (Dairy Free)

• 500 grams grass-fed beef liver
• 250 grams grass-fed beef heart
• 190 grams grass-fed ground beef
• 190 grams lard
• 2 tablespoons celtic sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper (15 grinds roughly)
• 1 teaspoon basil
• ¼ teaspoon ginger
• ¼ teaspoon onion powder
• ¼ teaspoon garlic powder
• ½ teaspoon thyme
• ½ teaspoon sage
• 1 cup beef broth (from boiled liver/heart/ground)

Bring heart to a boil, remove foam, then reduce heat and simmer for about 2 hours (or until tender). In a separate pot, bring liver/ground to a boil, remove foam, reduce heat then simmer about 20 minutes (or until tender). Save broth from both. Place meat, fat, broth, and spices in food processor and process until smooth (or desired consistency). Place in fridge. Enjoy!

You can freeze the rest of the broth to use in other recipes.

Slowly Figuring Things Out

I skipped the SR potassium yesterday and it seems my heart rate is not quite as high this morning. I find that odd since potassium is supposed to help with tachycardia, but there it is. Diane from the adrenal/thyroid Yahoo group recommended staying off of it for one week, taking in at least 2 tsp of sea salt a day, then adding it back in and retesting after 3 weeks.

My trip to Austin is not happening this week. I couldn't find a free flight with decent dates. I could have left Wednesday and come back Sunday, but we are supposed to have wicked thunderstorms this Wednesday and I can't leave Mojo all day. This is so crazy. We really need to figure something out regarding Mojo's fear of thunderstorms. I cannot re-arrange my entire day because of him every time there's a thunderstorm.

Anyway, looks like I am re-starting intro TODAY. I think I am just not going to worry too much about boiling meat for every meal and will focus on getting some of the ferments in. Incidentally there are messages going around on the GAPS Yahoo group regarding using fermented foods only and no commercial probees. I guess it's worth a try. I have Beet Kvass, fermented carrot ginger brine, and sauerkraut brine in little dropper bottles so I will start with one drop a day. It seems ridiculous to start with such a small amount but hey - whatever it takes. I did eat 3 medium sized water kefir grains yesterday and I have a headache and backache this morning, feel worn out, swollen eye lids, etc. - all the usual die off symptoms. A friend from GAPS had an interesting theory about me feeling worse. She said the following, referring to the blood donation:

"I think something happened in your system- maybe by concentrating your blood and getting rid of extra iron storage- it got some critters out of hiding since critters love love feasting on iron and now they are on the surface causing you misery and you are flaring.  I think the way we define flare for every individual body is withing a given context to that specific body.  Knowing you after all this time- this is one of the ways you flare."

See, I think this makes sense and is very possible but I know if I say something like this to Dr. Cowan he will think I am nuts. I never did have my appointment with him yesterday. Apparently he was out sick so it was rescheduled for tomorrow.  

I did get my blood test results from last week yesterday. My iron is slightly higher but ferritin has dropped from 75 to 44, RBC, hematocrit, and hemoglobin are back to normal but at the low and of the range, sodium and potassium are both still low normal. I noticed that my WBC was 5.2 the day I went to the ER and now it's back to 3.8 which is too low. I do wonder why my WBC fluctuates so much.

What would have been GAPS Intro Day 28

I finally figured out why my tachy issues came back. The day I started back on GAPS Intro (4/25) I went to donate blood. Later that day is when my heart was racing like crazy. It took me two weeks to realize that I was dealing with low blood volume due to the donation. Long story short, I even went to the ER one day and now I seem to be anemic. Well, I was that day but have been eating beef liver like crazy since then. I was retested last Wednesday and hope to have the results tomorrow. My sodium was also below normal and potassium was low normal. I eventually asked Dr. Cowan for some SR potassium which he actually prescribed. I am still not back to where I was, but it's better now. What a setback.

Because of all this GAPS intro really has not been going well at all and I sort of fell off the wagon Thursday night. We went to the new Brazilian restaurant in town and I decided to have a glass of wine. I had a big buzz from that one glass, despite all the food I ate, and on the way home chewed a piece of gum. At home I had dairy kefir that I had made from regular, store bought heavy cream and I put some Splenda in it. Not the end of the world and it's not like I ate a whole cheesecake, but considering the state of my health, digestive and overall, that really wasn't a smart thing to do. I am still sort of dealing with the reaction from dairy.

Of course now I am toying with the idea of starting over AGAIN. It's the perfectionism driving me to "do it right". I am even considering going off most of my supplements, including the progesterone cream and testosterone cream I had added back in, and starting from scratch adding one thing at a time. That would really be the biggest change and going back to eating boiled meats which I am not looking forward to. The other consideration is to use fermented veggie brine only - no commercial probees. I stopped the Custom Probiotics and the Berberine supplement about 3 days ago and I feel better. Not only am I having daily BMs, but I don't wake up with pain and a stiff body every day. I really wish I could figure out why I am reacting so strongly to beneficial bacteria.

All of this has put me in sort of a depressive mood. I am getting to the point where it's hard to see the end of the tunnel or where I believe that there is someone out there who can figure this out. I put a lot of hope into doing GAPS intro again, but that hope is slowly fading as well. If I can't increase beneficial bacteria then I am not really doing GAPS. So where does that leave me?

I still think that the strep and scarlet fever incident last year caused some kind of lasting problem - but how and why? That is what I want to discuss with Dr. Cowan tomorrow. I am tired of him ignoring the fact that I have not gotten better since then. There HAS to be some significance to it.

Today marks 915 days (or roughly 30 months or roughly 2.5 years) with a distended, uncomfortable abdomen as well as a host of other symptoms that have not improved. I feel overwhelmed, disappointed, scared, and don't know where to go from here. Spending one more day feeling the way I feel seems unbearable. Needless to say my ED issues are rampant right now. It's the only way I feel I can cope. I pray, I ask God for guidance, I ask Him for comfort but I feel nothing and I hear nothing. It's very discouraging...

Back to starting over....I will probably go back on proper GAPS Intro but will have to wait a while. Rachel, our former neighbor from Austin who is like a grandmother to us, is not doing so well. I am hoping to go see her next week and I won't even attempt to make broth there or take broth with me. I will just eat GAPS legal food and won't worry about the rest. This time I also plan on going to The Saltlick, my fav BBQ restaurant, while I am there. Last time I went to Austin I chose not to go and then regretted it. Soooooo.....it looks like I will be re-starting GAPS Intro June 1 which is perfect because Bob goes to LA for 7 days on June 2nd. Now if I could just wean off coffee by then that would be great. I have read for the third time now that coffee can mimic the gluten protein and if you are gluten intolerant you could react to coffee. UGH! I tried reducing a few days ago and the depression got even worse. I need to find something to replace the coffee with. Unfortunately green and black teas make me feel nauseated on an empty stomach (and stain my teeth horribly) and I don't eat anything in the morning. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and go off cold turkey the same time I go back on intro. Sound like suicide? I think it does!!!

GAPS Intro: Day 6

Not much to report really. I am dealing with quite a bit of die off, my heart rate seems higher again and I don't know why, and I am still on stage 1 except that I ate grilled meat last night. I also started the supplement last night that Dr. NCM recommended. In addition, I am thinking about adding Interfase Plus back in. I took it last year for a while and was starting to see improvements. Then I stopped taking it, got strep, then scarlet fever, and things have just been rough since then. I may order it today and start taking a small dose in the AM. Maybe the combo of Interfase Plus, the Berberine/GSE supp, and increasing probees and ferments slowly will finally show some improvements.

I mowed the yard yesterday and I had barely started the backyard (which is a PAIN to mow due to the slope and uneven soil) when the new, self-propelled mower stopped working. I could not get it to start back up. My guess is that it was just overheated and I should have waited a while but instead I finished the backyard with the old push-mower. What a pain that was and I am feeling it today. I probably won't be doing much the rest of the day although it's so nice outside it's a shame to sit inside.

GAPS Intro: Day 3

I took no probees or ferments at all yesterday yet I still had a slight headache and backache when I woke up. Other symptoms - right eye lids swollen, tired, fatigued, not really cognitive until the hydrocortisone kicks in, and my heart rate was still high. Actually, it went all the way up to 152 as I was standing in the kitchen waiting on my coffee. I am thinking it's safe to say that it's not from die off and I need to reduce Cytomel even more (I went from 87.5 mcg Cytomel back in January to now 37.5 mcg Cytomel and 1 Grain Naturethroid).

Last Sunday when I woke up my heart rate was hovering around 89 which was the lowest it has been in a long time. It felt so good. No dizziness when standing or feeling like I need to sit down. I had reduced from 50 mcg Cytomel to 37.5 mcg the day before. That day I went back up and since then it's been pretty high again. Going back down to 37.5 mcg has not done the trick so maybe the T3 started pooling in my blood. I really don't know - it's all speculation. I am thinking about just taking the 1 Grain of Naturethroid today and no Cytomel at all to let the T3 clear, then going back to 37.5 mcg Cytomel with Naturethroid tomorrow.

I am crazy hungry, too, and I don't know if that's from die off or too much T3. In addition, I am feeling very warm, my temperature went up to 99.3 after eating lunch yesterday, I sweat at night, and I am waking at lot during the night. All that seems like too much T3.

Food today is Mahi Mahi boiled in water. I will drink the resulting broth and will add some pork gelatin since there are no bones in the fish and I normally have bone broth. I will add pork fat to the fish. I think I will go back to taking my probees today (L. reuteri, Symbioflor2, Custom Probiotics 11-Strain Formula) and skipping the fermented veggie juice. I know the latter is very important but the die off yesterday was brutal. If that works out ok then I may go back to adding the fermented veggie juice but a smaller amount - maybe 1/8 tsp instead of 1/2 tsp.